Sijun Forums :: View topic - Wild Animal (updated w/ finish): Crits and Comments welcomed

jon brat · Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2003 9:21 am

This is an attempt at a children's book type of illustration. I wanted to post it before I considered it finished to get some of you fine peoples' thoughts on the work so far. Please be brutally honest.

Thanks in advance.

friedmonkeypaint · junior member Member # Joined: 12 Jan 2003 Posts: 20

first off great job!!! i like the proportions and the interaction between the two kids...
the only thing i can see as kinda disorienting is the lack of shadow under the girl(she kinda looks as if she is floating..to me) it might also help define the gradiant of the hill too? but what do i know ? thx for posting the pic please post more Very Happy

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eyalyab · Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2003 4:01 pm

i agree with friedmonkey (cool name)
i noticed this before i saw his comment, so i guess oyu can say 'its noticable': the girl and the boy dont seem to be standing on the same plane.
1.the boy's feet are at 90 degrees and the foot closer to us is higher up. it should be lowered. you should also tip the shoe at an angle rather than making it straight ahead.. sort of a the way you stand with the knee sideways.
2.if the girl wasnt meant to be posed standing on her toes then something is wrong. her left foot should be more flat on the ground. and like friedmonkey said. add shadow to the girl. where the dress is tucked inwards by the wind (in the middle, infront), there is no shading.. maybe also the dress is pulled back too much on the side close to the boy but that isnt critical. the girl has not enough of a chin but that's alright for a little girl ;]

glad you let us be as honest as we can ;] and while im honest: great drawing. more... more!!!

jon brat · Posted: Sun Jan 12, 2003 8:15 pm

Thank you for being honest. I can definitely see the problem that they are not standing on the same plain, and thank you for letting me know how noticable that is. Eyalyab: I admit that I'm not sure what you're talking about with the closer foot being higher up than the back foot. To me it looks like the boy's left foot is closer and lower than his right; but if something about his legs aren't reading correctly please let me know. Hopefully I'll be able to show an update soon . Thank you both for responding.

eyalyab · Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2003 3:37 am

about that controversial foot, as i see it, you drew this from a point of view on the same horizon as the boy and girl's shoulders, meaning from a plane higher than anything below their shoulder-line. so.. the feet are being drawn looking from above them. the foot closer to us should be lowered a bit to adjust with the horizon. i dont know it i should paint over this to show you what i mean, but since its fairly common in this forum, i gues its not a problem:

jon brat · Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2003 8:08 am

Eyalyab: I see what you're saying now, thanks for clearing that up.

I addressed some of the issues and threw a background on another layer to see if one would hurt, or help the piece ( I really should have done that in the sketch phase). Anyway, here it is so far.

Areas that still need work: her hands, his overly bright yellow hair, some shading on both their hair, his arm and hand, and maybe that background. What do you all think?

eyalyab · Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2003 10:33 am

great to see someone who is willing to accept crits Smile

its great. +the background gives it new depth. its really good.

(i still have a problem with the girl's left shoe though)

jon brat · Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2003 7:13 am

I'm done with it. Thanks to the people who commented on this one.