[Little Beefucker]

Hiya, all!

I made this in class with a Bic pen and decided to scan it. Two people are working on colors but your contribution would be awesome.

More than anything I'm looking for as harsh feedback as possible. It's my first "action" sketch. Kind of a novice here on people sketches in general -- you can tell.

[PeZ]

Hey LB, looking good but just a few things I noticed...

You need a little more commitment with your lines. They're a bit *too* sketchy, especially if this is to be coloured, as you mentioned. This is something I also have trouble with...
Anatomy wise it's pretty good, the torso and upper arms are slightly too long, but other than that, not bad!
Regarding the pose... I can't work out what she's doing with her guns... looks like she's fumbling with them rather than using them! Well, I hope this was harsh enough! heheh

Keep it up!

PeZ

[Kari Christensen]

I really like the sketchy line quality- it's dynamic. The color is cool too. But PeZ hit the nail on the head- the pose on the hands doesn't work and the face needs to be defined. Have someone pose for you for ten minutes and shoot some pictures- all you need is some scap for the face and hands.

Cool style. I'm excited to see more sketches.

[ November 27, 2001: Message edited by: Kari Christensen ]

[Little Beefucker]

Hey, thanks, guys!

I see what you mean about her arms. When I was sketching her, I started with the head, and like a lot of people just kind of lost perspective on the way down. Definitely hear you on the hands, heh heh; I actually like the "fumbling" look, because (IMO) she looks like a very young thing, and ought not to be capable of confident gun-tote-ness. She's part Lain, part Matilda (as in Natalie Portman from "LEON"). Of course, this makes her a bit disproportioned.

Crits are very helpful! Thanks for your help!

[Highfive]

I'd love to write a huge long crit for this since you did one for mine, Little Bee, but I don't how how I can crit such a different line style.

Here goes, anyway...

If she's meant to have the Lain / Natalie Portman innocent look, the eyes should be visible. That's what makes Lain appear so innocent, those big round eyes - as well as her totally vagued out expression and her complete incomprehesion of where she is at any given time LOL (My sister watches it on the DVD constantly).

The shoe-string top, jacket and cargo-paints with the smily-face patch is ideal for her character, but I don't think she should have the purse-chain hanging off the pants. To me, that suggests she's street-smart, but this is of course, based on the standard of living of where she is in the pic.

Finally, IMO, a girl of naive nature wouldn't try to using two guns in her first shoot-out. If you have her holding one gun with both hands, I think you could get across her lack of confidence more effectively, particularly if you include all the errors amatuers have when they hold a gun for the first time.

Hope that helps, Little Bee. I spent over 1 and a half hours replying to your crit on the Drow Dancer I did. It was so in depth it sent my mind in a spin! Real intellectual writing, well done! Now I'm just saying FUCK IT, I'll paint the god-damn picture and if you don't think it's sexy - STIFF! LOL

[Sasha]

[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: Sasha ]

[Magic Zero]

for some reason i can' get the pic to show up, ahh its probably my dumb pc. Wish i could see it(yes i know that doesn't help)

[Little Beefucker]

Dude, Highfive, you ROCK. I didn't look at it in terms of an actual character -- kind of stupid and glossy of me, heh heh, considering that's how I see everyone else's... But you make two awesome points I want to reply to:

1) A friend of mine is actually working on coloring her, and shows me it in stages, and we tried looking at it with one gun. It does look better (vis. more natural), but she argues that I drew it one way and should leave it one way. :P Since it's in the computer stage now, I'll try to convince her of a screen cap showing it with one hand (and then using it forever as the "final version", however pissed she'll be at that).

2) As far as "being Lain" goes, the youthful quality struck me so much when I drew it that I couldn't help thinking of her. Now that you mention "street-smarts", I quite prefer that. In fact, when I first drew it, I put an "SE:Lain - Layer 14" label next to her, envisioning some future encounter that was so far removed from anything she'd done... But I dunno.

Thanks much for the crit. She's kind of out of my hands now, but I'm glad to get the advice. Have so many plans for future girls!

[Little Beefucker]

Here's what Sasha has done with her so far...

[jOnnywedge]

don't change it. keep it as is. i like the honesty of the sketch. the blank face is a nice touch. it doesn't need that cutie-pie natalie portman look.

word.

[SWANY]

hey I might start doing faceless people as well, then i wouldn't get bad crits, and my member rating would go back up

eventually!

Do you draw figures, using the stick figure, cylender type process or do you just sketch and sketch out lines untill it looks right, and then start fleshing it out?