[Rattmouth]

Some of you might have seen the other design that I did (currently in the Finished Work forum). Well this image is the updated version. The previous one was too mature for this character; she is meant to be 17 years old, flirty, and kinda gothy.

So here's what I came up with.......



I've moved on to the next characters for now, but I will be coming back to make a final portfolio-quality piece out of this later. And I want to elaborate on the background some more. I can't wait to render out all that chipped marble on the column.

If you want to see what the other version was, then its here http://www.sijun.com/dhabih/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000353.html

Critiques are welcomed and encouraged of course.

Thanks a lot,
Matter

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: : :will work for money: : :
http://www.rattmouth.com

[nightmare]

i love her outfit! its so detailed... not a big fan of her hair though, but thats just personal preference it looks too cutesy schoolgirl for a semi-goth. i suggest something more spiky, but don't listen to me cuz i'm rambling now.

good job!

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it's all a conspiracy!

[Seraphire]

By "flirty", do you mean prostitute?

I like this new design much better. The other one was a little too bulky.

Is the hair still planned to be the same color? I didn't think that the blond with a black stripe was a great idea. They clash, badly.

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The Groove is in the Heart!

Seraphire
Michael Jon Birkhofer
Seraphire's Cafe/[URL=http://www.ozn.com.au/affiliates/digitalevolution/[/URL]

[Freddio]

good good

[steady]

you are the coolest guy ever i love your stuff
can i be you?

[Psionic]

Would it be OK if I coloured this little puppy up? I can see potential!!!!

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Psionic: Digital Artwork and Forums

[Enayla]

Actually, I think the ponytails fit just nicely

Then again, it might be because I used to hang out with a bunch of goths, and quite a lot of the girls had a similar style to them to the girl in this image - ponytails and girlishness in a way, and still very sexy. Not all goth girls have black hair and pale, unhappy faces, trying to look like Dracula's former tramp

I like... can't wait to see the finished version!!

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��You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt��
(And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?)

[Eshara]

I love this character! I think you captured it beautifully.

[Collosimo]

Hiya there Rattmouth.

I like this one better.

Seraphire said: "I like this new design much better. The other one was a little too bulky."

Thats a good point and maybe all that discussion in the othe post about 'line' comes down to that.

I think that clears it up.



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/COLLOSIMO

[buyuu]

Schoolgirl cutesy stuff? I like
Hm, not so sure about the undies-exposing outfit, but that part is up to you
Unless you are exaggregating her legs on purpose, they are out of proportion

[Rattmouth]

Nightmare:
Thanks for the kindness. Since I had done wavy hair in the other drawing, I just figured I'd try some straight hair in this one. I like the way it looks, but I am trying very hard to avoid any "Sailor Moon" likenesses. Man that show is scary.

Seraphire:
I definitely think I was going for a tiny bit of "prostitute" with this one. It adds lots of potential stories to what might be happening in the scene. Prostitute with a gun? Hmmmmmmm. I definitely like this one better too. I don't think I've ever drawn cute and young women before. Everything else was pot-bellied amazon women with 50's retro laser guns and shit (Frazzetesque). I guess there is a good Freudian explanation of that somewhere.

Freddio:
Thank you, and again.

Steady:
Thanks. You can be me, only if I can be Agent 44.

Psionic:
I have no problem with you coloring this (or anyone coloring anything of mine). I just ask for credit for what parts I did. Let me know if you have any questions about it.

Enayla:
Hey, that's one person on the "I like the hair" side. Actually, the guy who is the writer of the comic likes the hair a lot and so do I. But thanks for the support and thanks for doing such a wonderful job coloring the other drawing. Your work always impresses the hell out of me. Truthfully.

Eshara:
Thanks! I very glad you liked it. And glad the ideas that I was trying to get across...got across. Because that's certainly not always the case.

Collosimo:
I'm glad you like it too. I understand where you were coming from in your other critique. And it might not seem like it, but the criticism did get across. It was just a matter of our differences of preferred styles. And that's all. If I knew how do those damned smiley faces that you whippersnappers do, then I'd put one here with a goofy grin and crossed eyes and some of those things goats have on their chins.

Buyuu:
She is actually going to be wearing these tight-shorts things. It does look like I meant for the panties to show, but that's actually just residual pencils from when I was working out the figure. Drawing those lines (waist lines, panty lines, etc) helps me place clothing on a body. I was thinking that if I put on these things that looked like a garter belt, then it would add some sexiness. But I didn't want too much. And the more that it reads as a garter, the more sexy it would be. So I tried to balance it out. Does that make any sense? I wasn't an English major in college, so explaining these things isn't my strong point.

I'll post the finished inks somewhere way down the road, for now I have other characters to work on. Like the gay pin-headed circus chimp with three legs who is addicted to heroin and burlesque shows. Just kidding. He smokes crack.

Matt

[Spooky]

Very nice...however, I imagine those shorts of hers might cut into her inner thighs somewhat causing her a bit of grief...!.

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"I have wrought my simple plan, if I give one hour of joy, to the boy who's half a man, or the man who's half a boy."
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
http://www.digitaldreammachine.com

[Light]

This is not bad. Did you use gontaros? work for reference? It remidns me somewhat off his work.

pretty good..

[Solitaire]

hey, and where's the inked version so we can start colrin'?

[Rage-lion]

Yeah...where is the inks?

[Rattmouth]

----suddenly!----
Gontaro? Who's that? Just kidding, I know all about "He Who Humbles Me Daily". But no, I didn't use him as inspiration on these. My inspirations/resources were/are Travis Charest, Masamune Shirow, Dave Johnson, Dan Norton, Pop Mhan, Skin Two magazine, Art of Star Wars: Episode I, and lots of fast-funky downtempo electronic music. But being anywhere near Gontaro in any manner of classification is fine with me.


----then!----
As I had said in the earlier post, my priorities are to finish up the character designs. I'll ink the pictures, but you gotta give a week or so to wrap up the other characters.

Of course you can always try to use the pencils to achieve the "painted look".

I just don't want to rush in and half-ass an inkjob on these drawings. If the comic does well, we would like to have these pieces included as concept art in future issues. Or we could do one of those lame "Source Books".

Also, the next character will be finished tonight.

Matt