[Naeem]

Wall Street Analysis of Gold Diggers

> THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
> What am I doing wrong?
>
>
> Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
> (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
> I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
> least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
> that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
> I'm overreaching at all.
>
> Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
> you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
> 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
> me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
> to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
> I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
> get to her level?
>
> Here are my questions specifically:
>
> - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
> restaurants, gyms
>
> -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
> feelings
>
> -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
>
> - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
> side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
> nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
> gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
> there?
>
> - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
> banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
> hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
>
> - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
> MARRIAGE ONLY
>
> Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
> way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
> about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
> able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
> nice home and hearth.
>
> * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
> services or
> other commercial interests
>
> PostingID: 432279810
> THE ANSWER
> Dear Pers-431649184:
> I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
> about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
> Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
> bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
> see it.
>
> Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
> cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
> suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
> my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
> money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
> that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
> be getting any more beautiful!
>
> So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
> asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
> accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
> hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
> earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
>
> So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
> and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
> to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
> you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
> to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
> as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
>
> Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
> I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
> as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
> believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
> hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
>
> By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
> we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
>
> With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
> Classic "pump and dump."
> I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
> lease, let me know.

[Joe84]

read this earlier in the week, funny read

[Ranath]

haha great

[Mikko K]

Haha!

[Max]

awesome

[Lunatique]

Heh, a simpler reply would've been, "Because most men require a heart and a soul to come with the beautiful shell, and the really successful ones can just marry actresses and models, no a nobody like you."

[Jimmyjimjim]

I sure hope that's not real. Stuff like that written by that kind of person makes me edge closer to being a serial killer.

[Lunatique]

Unfortunately it's true. I've seen similar postings at personal ad spaces back when I was still single--women who don't bother hiding the fact they only want someone who makes a lot of money. Just as bad are the ones who write things like "You MUST look like Russel Crowe, or else don't bother. Pffft, it's like, who the fuck do YOU look like, Jennifer Connelley?

[Ben Mauro]

so so sad. makes me want to move far away from any sort of city.

[Ranath]

it's possible that it's true, according to this page: http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp


then again, I thought it sounded too funny to be true

[Sukhoi]

Money is true happiness.....pffft!

We all know that true happiness only comes in the form High Def displays and more processing power.

[Lakka]

"So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
> and hold"

[Max Ostap]

I like how he wants to lease her

[math]

[Sukhoi]

Cash rules everything around me, C.R.E.A.M, get the money, dollar dollar bill yall!