[Mikejazzhands]

Hey guys, I'm new to this site and i'm really interested in getting some feedback from yas : )
So, this is an American Educator cover I did for a class of mine. The cover is to promote the article inside entitled "the language police." The article dealt with the problems within classrooms dealing with censoring of books. Publishers often have to kill their books due to no one buying them. The reason why the teachers or schools won't by them is because the parents find the material not suitable for their children. Teachers are caught in the mess of all this and the students aren't learning enough because of everything being censored.
So my illustration's intent is to get the reader to go inside, take a look at what this article is about, then once finally done reading it- they could put the two together and understand what's going on. I'm asking you to critique it on its design aspects and how it works for you. Feedback wanted of course : ) Thanks!

Originally drawn then put through photoshop CS

-mike





P.S. My comic art is coming !

[Dekard]

I don't feel the description you've given is put across in your drawing. When I think of censoring books, the easiest thing that comes to mind is a set of books with human aspects with handcuffs, etc.. Just my two cents..

Also Language Police, doesn't scream book censorship to me either, it sounds more like people telling you what to say, not necessarilly what to read.
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[durgldeep]

I don't understand how "American Teacher" can be billed as "American Illustrator" (or vice versa) - hey, where'd it go?

EDIT: in keeping with my recently acquired *dufus* status, I'll correct "Teacher" to "Educator"...and now I'll just slink off and turn myself in to the language police.

[Anthony]

Hey there, welcome to the forum! I would say that you should start thinking in terms of color value more, and not so much in lines. It's fine to start with a pencil or pen sketch to break down composition and anatomy, but you don't want to end up with a lot of lines in your drawing, unless you're doing comic book style, in which case those lines need to be very crisp with a lot of tapering. Also, there needs to be a more definate light source, it's very flat. Keep it up though, it's nice that you're thinking about meaning behind your images. Just be forwarned - any time you try to tell a story in an image, you open yourself up to much more critiquing. Which is a good thing, so don't get discouraged. :] On the subject itself, I don't feel that the problem with schools lies in book censorship. I don't see what benefit dirtier or more subverted books or ideas could have, versus, say, more time spent on speaking and communication skills, or reading the countless better authors that aren't as controversial. Remember, they're still the PARENTS' kids, not the school's! Welcome!
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-Anthony
Carpe Carpem
http://www.anthonyfransella.com

[DP]

OK mike I have a few problems with the image. I don't mean for this to sound harsh but rather constructive. First off I'm assuming this is a piece for a class at Rowan University in which I attended the previous two years. So I'll try to make this critique no harsher than Doc would. Anyway I'll start with the image/composition.

On the left of the image you have the desk (which is out of perspective and seems a tad to long) going off the left of the composition and nothing going off the right creating an unbalanced composition. One thing that is working for the image is the circular teardrop flowing into the hair creating a central image. But this is ruined by the desk taking the viewers eye off the edge of the page. The apple is right in the middle of the image and its color stands out against the table. This gives it a nice focal point but I'm not sure if it was intentional.

The elements in the image don't seem too well planned out. The anatomy and drapery of the female makes her look like a clothed skeleton. The teardrop isn't convincing and the light bulb looks like a cracked eggshell. I suggest taking more reference photos for the table, apple, chair, and female. I also don't understand the black brushstrokes in the background. They give off a cliche photoshop feel and don't do much for the image.

The value and colors have the same problems as the elements. It looks hastily done as well. Did you do any value or color studies from your thumbnails? Or did you just lay in the colors you thought would best represant the objects?

Now regarding the image and how it depicts the message. I don't see it. I don't understand the use of the symbols. I guess the lightbulb is an idea thats being broken? by what? I can't make out whats going on in the tear drop. Why is she crying and why is her hair flowing like that? I don't understand the spirals of the tears. Is the apple to represant that she is a teacher?

I hope this critique wasn't too harsh and hope it was beneficial. I suggest you do more process work, research your favorite illustrators, and take more reference photos. Oh and tell Doc DP says whats up.