[g a m m o n]

Hey all I am working on a comic called The Gimmick of I for a comic club I am in. I am just needing some opinions on the story primarily but I know I can't do that so I posted the first two incomplete pages as well. Comment on the story aspect or the pictures, or BOTH!

The pictures are at the bottom but first the story!

STORY
In the meta-age of 2600 humanity began to develop technologies that are operated solely through abstract thought. These meta-technologies supercede any previous conception of what is physically or scientifically possible: transmutation, metamorphosis, artificial mass, feigned refraction, languid light, matter creation, teleportation, etc.

The year 2653 there were large advancements in meta-technology derived from a brilliant scientist named Humn Boschk. His experiments were revolutionary in his field of investing the energies of quintessence, also referred to as the �other� or the �meta�. In his experiments he used the blind to calculate the necessary mental algorithms to apply the meta through abstract thoughts that could be interpreted by advanced computational systems. In his findings with the blind he stated, �The blind have a deeper perspicacity of quintessence that those with sight will never achieve. They have been untainted with the supposed permanence of the world and can see beyond its modest boundaries.� 4 years after the famous statement that would dictate the findings of the meta for centuries an event occurred that brought a disturbing prologue to the irresponsible integration of meta into society.

The 25th December in the year 2657 2% of the worlds population went unconscious for 5 months. May 17th a solution to the problem finally arose, �The 49 Oratories�. A massive railway of points 4,132 miles long was established across the sky; these points emit high frequency sound waves that are perfectly proportionate to the other creating destructive interference that disrupt super-conscious brain patterns that allow for advanced abstract thought. The citizens who were awoken after the incident suffered massive trauma to the psyche, went insane, died, or stayed comatose. Those who were untouched were issued a plea not to leave the shield that was attached to their very lives. The people affected by the bizarre �Musing of 2657� had become mentally attached to the frequencies emitted by the 49, and if they left their influence their minds would cease to function; additionally those who enter the proximity of the 49 must receive a brain-graft to shield them from the destructive interference that would drive them mad. Those who are born and live under the points may never leave.

As though logic had no bearing anymore those who live under the 49 are still able to operate meta-technology, possibly due to conditioning.

The government primarily involved in the events in 2657, the Democratic Consort, released a statement that no information about 2657 could be released for the safety of humanity. Such a simple withdrawal was not to be had by the people of Earth. Riots, religious fanatics, angry nations, and anti-government groups were all suppressed over a 2 year war with the Knights of the Democratic Consort. The world was rife with curious individuals whom wanted an answer. This answer still kept in secret, the largest cover-up in the history of the world.

Not a single documentation of any of the events relating to 2657 can be found.

The Gimmick of I begins in the year 2804 when all those who were alive at the time of the Musing of 2657 have passed away. The 49 Oratories must be calibrated daily by a highly respected individual called a �runner� who is protected by specially trained KoDC in a highly secured facility. His job is the most important the world has to offer, his responsibility, the lives of a nation. If he fails there are 4 more runners who will back up the main runner at all costs. The main runner rarely leaves the secured facility. They are all trained well but the main runner is top-priority. At 12 PM the runner begins his duties.

The 49 points emitting high frequencies of mental immanence, around 30.2 terahertz, rendering any form of meta-operated vehicle impossible to maintain as it would drive the user mad or instantly cease all mental functions. A specially designed high speed vehicle runs along rails that line up with each of the 49 points shielded from the super-immanence. The runner then �accesses� the points with his mind as they need a mental circuit to be recalibrated. The exact methods of this calibration are impossible to explain as they all involve abstract thought. The process of calibration is extremely dangerous to the runner as they could potentially go insane, thus the runners go through psyche evaluations and tests daily.

The necessity for the calibration of the 49 is directly related to the Schumann resonance, or electro-magnetic fields generated from the earth�s atmosphere when it is struck by the energy from the sun. These reactions disturb the frequencies emitted by the 49.

The story of The Gimmick of I involves�
-the runner questioning his purpose in life, reality, and his sanity as his world is confused with the abstract.
-intrigue about the government�s experiments into Boschk�s �Theory of Residual Life� in order to create a sentient human or homunculus from the meta.
-possible conflict between neighboring nations trying to draw the truth out of the Democratic Consort.
-jealous runners trying to sabotage or set-up the main runner.
-the main runner trying to become accustom to common living.
-disaster.

Extra Info�
-the main runner�s name is Lo Erios.
-the runners have no idea what the point of their job is.
-the 49 Oratories are 4,132 miles long, the same length as the Nile, symbolizing life.
-there are 49 Oratories in order to cover the 49 levels of the mind.
-the Schumann resonance was featured in the anime, Serial Experiments Lain.

PICTURES
page 01
http://www.deviantart.com/view/4338079/
page 02
http://www.deviantart.com/view/4338097/

[Tinusch]

Really interesting story, but I don't quite get the two pages. The first one shows up as solid black on my monitor, and the second one I'm not sure I understand. Maybe some more info about them?

[g a m m o n]

The first page is completely black? That's odd... There are some very lightly applied greys but you should be able to see them unless your monitor is a bit too dark.

The second page is a continuation of the psyche exam the runner is going through, this is how the story begins. It suppose it is veryconfusing out of context.

[makototaramoto]

indeed very good story, the first and second pages are continuations of a thought right? "what do you see.....nothing...is that your answer..no...a vast field of bright tundra dulcet and tidal" is that all sky of the bottom of the 2nd?


mercer
_________________
mercer

[Bonka]

My suggestion would be for a better font. Check out www.blambot.com They have a some great fonts that would work fantastically with your comic.

[Adamantine]

[Adamantine]

[Tinusch]

Wow, my gamma was really off. All better now. The second picture is pretty impressive now, I couldn't see the top two captions, or the eye or anything, so it didn't make much sense to me.