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Author   Topic : "My first portrait on the computer"
topeira
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Joined: 07 Feb 2001
Posts: 553
Location: Holon, Israel

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 12:03 am     Reply with quote
i'd love some critique, as always. post and say whatever comes to mind. plz do

this on ewas done with a mirror-
this one was done with no refference. no mirror or pic, and that's probably why it doesnt resemble me that much... heh.

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: topeira ]

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: topeira ]
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feebsaint
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Joined: 09 Jan 2001
Posts: 353
Location: West Valley City, Utah, USA

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 1:25 am     Reply with quote
You got some serious teeth going there, man... I bet corn cobs just shiver whenever you walk by.

Both portraits are way too brown. On the first one, try going from cool to warm colors... on your face... Here... I grabbed a quick one off my site, for an example, because from the chin to the top of the melon, the colors go from cool to warm.



Your face is just... yellow/brown, through and through. Don't worry, we all struggle with colors... God knows I have.

This is a basic principle I learned from my art director... faces, especially males, have a cool hue on the jaw area... around the nose, eyes, and upper cheeks, the colors are rather reddish & orange... the forhead is yellowish... once I learned this principle, I notice it on people all the time... even women.

Your two portraits are just a flat color, which makes the image flat. The second one, although underlit, is also too brown and plain... and your teeth and eyes are way too bright... squint your eyes at them, and see how they jump off the page... they shouldn't do that... creepy...

Have fun with them, and try not to show us, in your portraits, how suave or how ragingly cool you must think you are, because frankly, you look somewhere between silly and creepy... Portraits can be zany, of course... a guy can intentionally make himself look like a goon, or thoughtful, but someone who's trying too hard is always seen as trying too hard. Especially taking all that care to show how nicely you've trimmed your goatee.

I'm frank, nice to meet you.

The second one is particularly something people will roll their eyes at. You look like someone who is WAY too serious about their favorite football team making a touchdown. Are you a jock, per chance? Holy shit, am I ever being frank.

Do a portrait of yourself that isn't creepy, and you're half way there. BTW... not creepy scary... it's more like, creepy in how eccentric your self image/ego seems to be.

I'd love to hear from other commenters... I'm I way off base, here?

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: feebsaint ]
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gLitterbug
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Joined: 13 Feb 2001
Posts: 1340
Location: Austria

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 2:54 am     Reply with quote
Feeb, I was shocked about your thoughts on his ego, I�ve never got the impression that topeira is thinking he�s some sUpErKeWl d00d!
I think he�s friendly and nice and the portraits didn�t change my opinion!

I must say I don�t really like the first portait. There�s something not right about colors as feeb said.
The second one appeals to me, I really like the expression on your face, like you cheer on somebody and suddenly something shocking happens. Reminds me of some anime tv-series.

I hope you don�t take some points of feebs reply too serious. I think he made some good recommendations about how you can improve your portrait-drawing skills, but I was really shocked about some things he said and the style he wrote his reply.
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Strawberrysauce
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Joined: 04 Feb 2001
Posts: 356

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 3:40 am     Reply with quote
yea feebsaint u may raise some good techincal
issues on topeira's portraits but the way
in which u judged his personality and ego
simply by his images is a bit over the top.

DOH! (maybe i should comment on the pics!)

i think their both good topeira , the second
one is the best however, the expression is
pretty awesome! the first could do with
a bit more contrast. i not great at portraits
so i dont feel qualified to give anymore
advice.

also, thats a kick ass image feebsaint

[ June 17, 2001: Message edited by: shamhead ]
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ceenda
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Joined: 27 Jun 2000
Posts: 2030

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 3:49 am     Reply with quote
AHAHAHAHA!

STEADY TIGER!!! WRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAWW!!!

topeira: Mike's points are very good (technical ones), just discern the technical info. The proportions are very good, try flipping the pic horizontally every so often to check that you're not slanting the pic.

Mike: Is that rule always true, even for non whites? What about Chinese or Coloured people, topeira's profile suggests he's from Israel, so maybe the colour difference wouldn't be so profound? Just a thought. Nice to have you back on Sijun.
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u2art
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Joined: 17 Nov 2000
Posts: 133
Location: FL, USA

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 5:23 am     Reply with quote
Hi ya

Well Mike said it all, I agree. The personal opinions are soley his though! Everyone should have the balls to take any type of criticism though, it is Mikes opinion, and you can or cannot listen to it if you want. You are better off letting people speak their mind and taking what you can...which in Mikes case is really good info (the art stuff)! You dont have to believe anything you hear...but it IS good to listen...anyway....back to your piece. They look nice, Mikes points are all good ones, as well as Ceenda's points on ethnicity. I would say work on paintings to study color, draw to study structure and form. painting is much harder than drawing...i think. And painting requires that you draw well AND know color and your medium. You should do alot more drawing, then your paintings will start to look better...without a doubt. Keep painting portraits though, do all you can, you will still learn. Drawing will make your paintings better...i said that didnt I? It's good to hear twice

Keep it up man, make sure you learn from every piece, dont just make art to make art, you wont get any better.

Good work


Art
arts art
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feebsaint
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Joined: 09 Jan 2001
Posts: 353
Location: West Valley City, Utah, USA

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 1:06 pm     Reply with quote
Well, my first instinct this morning, was to remove the crit that I wrote last night (way late, and I guess I was feeling rather irritable). But I don't think that would be fair to the artist, or those who would have an opinion on my comment... one way or another.

I was so shocked at my position: attitude and frankness, that I had to post about it here, in random musings. To quote my friend, "I'm not sorry! ... I'm sorry that I'm not sorry." I believe that I've tarnished my image to people I really like... pretty much everyone... but I owe it to them to see this side of me, that even I wasn't aware of.

I did have those opinions, and I had this feeling that I should not hold back... although this morning, I'm not feeling mean, and would not have written anything like what I wrote above, had I dicovered these portraits (which are solid portraits... at least the first one) today.

Ceenda, as for the colors, you raise a great point... all people are different, of course, and there is always an exception to the rule... but I believe that no matter what race you are, on the whole - the colors still travel from cools to warms, up the ladder to the forehead.

I beg the pardon of topeira, for turning this into a thread that bites at his person... and I'm off to e-mail him now, to see if he would rather I took the comments about his ego & such, down. I meant no personal attack, but I did exactly that. I could, at least, leave the crit part... I really do hate ego-intensive people, because I was constantly exposed to one that had a lot to do with my life... and my stomach is turned at the deliberate 'look at how cool I am' attitude.

I'm not saying topeira is one of these... but it's the definite impression I got from these paintings.

Additionally, I realize that I've now put myself on stage, and am open to ridicule. I may very well deserve it, and no matter how much someone tears into me, on this point, I could not hold it against him/her... in fact my respect for them will have increased.
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Shirotsugh
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Joined: 08 Jun 2001
Posts: 44
Location: Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 6:46 pm     Reply with quote
What's wrong with being a jock? I'm a jock.
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dead
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Joined: 18 Feb 2001
Posts: 489

PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2001 10:14 pm     Reply with quote
Shirotsugh- there is nothing wrong with being a jock. Don't let Mike get you down. He's a jock too. And not just because of the fungus infection. I mean he's a real jock with the lettermans jacket and everything. He's neck is wider than his scull and he showers with men regularly.

So be proud. Yes, pride is a sin, but no one ever said that you have to be a good christan to be a good athlete. It's only implied, dude.
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Seagull
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Joined: 18 Mar 2001
Posts: 38
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2001 12:16 am     Reply with quote
Well, i work with topeira so couple of things:
a. He is green, these are really his colors, he only forgot the reddish color around his eyes, not joking!
b. He is really not the "I'm-cool-kiss-my-ass-I'm-a-jock-hey-ho" type at all. on the contrary.
c. As i told you, topeira , add more variation to the general contrast. Add texture to the skin and hair (beard!). I also think that you could use blues, oranges, and reds here and there to add intrest to the skin and structure. You may want to use more defined brush to add some visible strocks here and there, to make the face less soft and round but more sharp and bony (nose, cheek, chin).

enjoy your regila,

--sea
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feebsaint
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Joined: 09 Jan 2001
Posts: 353
Location: West Valley City, Utah, USA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2001 5:16 pm     Reply with quote
Well, like I said, I left myself open to be ridiculed, and here it is.

I'm glad the dude is legit, not egotistical, as I misread. I'm sure he's on his way to being a fine artist, and I hope he takes what good he can get out of my post.

Nothing wrong with being a jock, unless you're like the jocks from my highschool, which were egomaniacle pricks, who lived for beating the hell out of nerdy science kids... over compensating for their lack of general I.Q., I suppose.

Well, I suppose I've stirred the pot, and will probably never hear the end of it, from those who've formed an opinion of me from this thread. I didn't want to back down, and cower from an irritable moment, by covering it up by deleting it... sorta like not tearing out the one page in the journal you hate the most... it's a part of you, and if you hide it, you're not showing yourself or others respect.

Not that I showed topeira much respect... but, there it is.

Sorry, GreenPeach... although I may have deserved that personal attack from you, I'm nowhere near a jock. I often get surprised looks from fellas in the gym that ask me if I'm a ball player, and I tell them I'm an artist. Go figure...
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Littlepoop77
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Joined: 19 May 2001
Posts: 44
Location: USA

PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2001 7:43 pm     Reply with quote
Hey topeira, try not to sign your name with wild strokes. People who do that usually have big egos. And ppl who sign their names too small have self estime issues. Make it a bit smaller.
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c
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Joined: 23 Oct 2000
Posts: 230
Location: norwalk, ca

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2001 5:04 am     Reply with quote
what a crappy way to 'critique' someone.

speaking of ego... oh, nevermind.

[ June 19, 2001: Message edited by: c ]
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Littlepoop77
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Joined: 19 May 2001
Posts: 44
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2001 7:22 am     Reply with quote
I learnt that signature thing from school...in my typpgraphy class. I didn't critisize his work. I find it looks fine to me...and I didn't mean it in an offenssive way.
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ceenda
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Joined: 27 Jun 2000
Posts: 2030

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2001 9:07 am     Reply with quote
Why do people need to sign ANY artwork????????????

Surely the picture is a signature in itself.
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Littlepoop77
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Joined: 19 May 2001
Posts: 44
Location: USA

PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2001 9:29 am     Reply with quote
I agree in a way. I never sign my stuff even though I know I should...just a bad habbit, I think.

I think it's a matter of personal preference. If you wanna sign, then go ahead, sign. But try not to have the signature bigger than the artwork

My only crit about this piece would be to play around with diferent colors for the skin tone, or lighting, or anything else you could think of. It's a nice piece but look incomplete.
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topeira
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Joined: 07 Feb 2001
Posts: 553
Location: Holon, Israel

PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2001 10:40 pm     Reply with quote
first- thanks to all ppl that replied. it's a shame that it usually takes a weird crit that will draw more feedback and it is in that case, somewhat not about my work but more about mike's words.

now i will address mike's crit - again - i do want the critique, as inadequate, or inappropriate as it may seem, but I want it. So it was quit harsh but I can take it. Most ppl that know me takes me as very far from egocentric or anything like that. I try to keep a decent amout of ego on the surface to get ppl to know what I worth in certain areas but keep myself modest in the basics of my character. If u r too modest than u might get stepped on but too egocentric will attract bad attitude towards u. I try to be kind and modest to ppl because everybody deserve a decent treatment from strangers to feel good bout themselves. I am no jock . I hate soccer, know nothing about football, occasionally play b-ball, but mostly do capoeira which is not really a jock type of sport.

My sign is a bit big, I know. It was instinctive and I guess it might apply on something. I don�t know. I signed cuz it�s something I made and want ppl to know it was made by me � for better or worse. It�s like mike�s kept his post (the 1st one) as it is � so ppl will know what he wrote � for better or worse, cuz it�s a part of who he is and what he wrote. This sign is about something I made. It�s me so I signed it. Usually my signature is almost inisible but in such a simple pic like that one I am not afraid to hide certain details by my signature so it�s rather large.

I agree about the color tones � moving from warm to cold towards the buttom. I read about that before and tried to show it here but I guess it�s not shown enough. I was looking at the mirror in broad day light and tried to do it as it appeared though the mirror. Those are the colors that I saw. Not too much contrust cuz I was tring to keep the colors and lightning as they are. Blame the mourning lightning in israel . Anyway � I will try to get the tones better next time. Thanks for pointing it out. I know the second on is too flat. It began as a completely different picture of someone, who is not me, raising his arm but in some point I thought it could be cool if the dude will look like me so I added some details that will show it�s me. The BG color is too brown like the face to the pic looks flat. My bad 

I have now posted a new pic. I�m sure mike will have something to say about it 

it's here: http://www.sijun.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=5&t=003607


Ceenda � thanks for commenting. I really love your work and was looking forward for crit from ya. Plz see me new post and comment on it as well.
About the signature thing � yea. I guess that there is no better signature than doing a self portrait. But still � how made that portrait? The man itself or some other artisrt or illustrator? Well, u get the point, which was obvious to u from the beginning , im sure

seagle - u know me personally cuz we work together and sure, i'm a jock, and i beat u up every morning at work and take your lunch money but u still stick by me. it's apreciated

Burnout � I am not pissed at mike. He was saying what was on his mind. He was in the mood. I think judging me by my painting is wrong cuz it doesn�t reflect me in anyway but what tha heck � he gave his best shot. I don�t take it as personality judgment or analyzing but more of a character guessing. It was a wrong gessing in my and my friends opinion but everybody�s intitled for some mistakes.
I will not work harder to show mike off. I will work harder to get better. Dduuuhh 

U2art � hey dude. Nice hearing from ya. Thanks for the e-mails long time ago. It helped a lot
And u r right � will work arder and hopefully get it right sometime. Be there to advise. It�s needed

Greenpeach � LOL. Well, what do u know� 
It sounded more like mike was offended by those jocks so he is such a player hater� by now I�m judging others, am i�.

All others � thanks for posting an opinion. Plz check my new portrait and tell me if there is an improvement

-http://www.sijun.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=5&t=003607

man, my hand hurts from typing...

Peace and a good day to ya all.
Yea, mike � u too

[ June 20, 2001: Message edited by: topeira ]
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